My horoscope for today says “Every minute you spend on feeling physically better through exercise, stretching, nutrition and even sleep will be returned to you later.”

Wise indeed.  And someday I’ll be able to accept the generosity of this and be thankful for the friends I’ve met at the gym and through exercise.  

So I’m a bit scared.  I signed up for a 90-challenge to lose 5 pounds and shave a few points off of the BMI.  I know BMI isn’t everything.  I have the strength but not the willpower to lose the weight. I know what got me to losing weight, less food intake, increase in workout.  My workout has increased over the past two years, gradually, nothing shocking.  But the food intake has increased too.  At first it was enough to sustain me.  Now it’s eating a box of cookies for no damn good ass reason when you’ve already eaten your meals for the day.  

Stress is a mind killer.  It’s also an emotional eating killer too.

So I’m scared.  I record my weight each and every week, faithfully for over two years.  Now I’m back to someone else looking at my results for the next three months.  I’m going to screw up.  I’m going to over eat on snacks I shouldn’t.  

I’m going to fail.